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I find it somewhat ironic, and very encouraging, that the point being made about identity is made by a christian. There is no other group as well versed in demonizing the opposition as the church - quite possibly the most exclusive institution in the history of humanity. "Jesus or Hell, its your choice". In the culture of today, the homosexual community is the favored target for many fundamentalist/conservative preachers. Also a fair amount of the time the venom is spewed at other churches with different theological persuasions. There is more identity in being Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Non-Denominational (whatever that means), Charismatic, etc. than there is in being a Christian. The only people I see Jesus rail against in scripture are the religious ones who came to God from rules and imposed those rules on everyone else (usually without keeping them themselves). It seems that at every turn Jesus was pointing to intimate, personal relationship with God (who he called Father). He continually scandalized his culture by relating to tax collectors, prostitutes, stinking fishermen, and others of ill repute. Jesus is the most liberal and loving person I have ever met. He does not demonize others and as his friend I do my best to do likewise.
As a pastor, I often find myself in a room full of pastors. It's hazard of the job that I have to live with. At least, until I become a megachurch pastor and can afford to be aloof and disconnected... ;-)
I find it's not any different there in most cases. "Hi, I'm the small church pastor with big vision." "Hi, I'm the young successful pastor of a church that grew really fast that everyone is jealous of." "Hi, I'm the pastor of an old small church and I'm embarrassed around all these mega church guys." And on and on. In those awkward moments, you ask how someone is doing and you get church attendance stats.
We all do it, to some degree. Instead of church stats, we give work perfomance stats, family stats, new car stats, new sailboat stats, etc.